Jafar

This desert, I hate it!

Pant pant..
               

How much further do I have to walk? I don’t understand how I ended up here, I am sure everything was right! Was it the book? 
I shouldn’t have trusted that merchant! He looked fishy, I should have known better! Now I am stuck here in the middle of nowhere!
 

“No, the sky is turning orange!”
 

I need to get to a shelter, but all I see is sand, what should I do? Ah, I shouldn’t have been hasty! I need to run… but where? It's all sand!
 

Walk.
 

“Will this be the end of everything?” I dropped on my knees. I can’t walk anymore, I have been at it for 3 days already! I have no water, no food, the days are too hot and the nights the opposite. At this rate I will die before I find it!
 

The sand was burying my hands where I placed them.
 

I can’t find it, I can’t do this brother. I tried, I did what you asked me. I tried for the past 8 years. This was my last hope! This worthless life, I wasted it for you! I watched everyone in my life move on and live a life, but the curse you put on me has me standstill at that place where you left me! How dare you! In my desperation I can’t help but feel bitter about you. You ruined my life!
 

The sky was now blue and my body was cold. I am sure you are having the time of your life, while I suffer in your stead.
 

Sigh, weep.
 

I am the fool, and I will die as one. You knew that so you used me, and since I was of no use to you anymore you discarded me, that day. All I can do now is cry. I can’t even wish for your destruction, I had admired you for too long!
 

Weep.
 

I am feeling like I am freezing in the freezer. I can’t feel my body and I can see my breath. The sky was murky grey. Oh I think I see it, though it's blurry.
“Ah!... at last… the city…the alluring lights.”
 

I can’t help but smile, it’s so mesmerising. I want to go there.
 

Struggle.
 

I can’t move.
 

“Brother… I hope you are… happy…”
 

I want to shut my eyes and sleep for a while. Yes, if I sleep everything will go back to normal. I am sure Allah will forgive me. Yes, I will…
 

***

When I opened my eyes it was a familiar garden- that garden I always played around with my mother. How was I here?
 

“Haha mother! You can’t catch me!” I said. It was me when I was 9 years old. Is this a dream?
 

Mother!
 

“Mother I am so happy to see---” she went through me.Sigh. It was a dream then. I turned and looked at them playing. This day… it was the day my brother was, “---crowned the crown prince….”.
 

“Ayaz, stop running!" my mother was shouting at me.
 

"You can't catch me!" I was a brat.
 

"Ayaz, listen to mother." someone spoke from the shadows.
 

Brother…
 

"Brother!" I ran into his arms. He pulled me up and hugged me.
 

"Adham, shouldn't you be getting ready for the ceremony?" my mother looked anxious.
 

"... I thought you would help me with it." he was fidgeting.
 

"Haha. You are still such a child! Let us go then. Ayaz let us go and get your brother dressed for the ceremony", my mother gestured me to get down, and so I did.
Oh, was it here that everything started?
 

"Okay! Brother, will you be wearing a crown today?" I thought it was an innocent question.
 

"Yes, well, unless you want the crown." my brother replied.
 

"Don't speak.." I mumbled at my old self. What was I thinking? This is…
 

"I think I do!"
 

… but a dream.
 

I watched my brother's face turn pale. My mother looked anxious.
 

"Ayaz how many times---" she was interrupted by my brother.
 

"Well in that case, I will tell you a secret…"
 

…

…

***

I was not dead.
 

I feel so queasy and hot. The sky was bright and I was alive. Do I walk again?
 

Walk.
 

Ah, I don't have the strength. The city I saw yesterday must have been a hallucination, an illusion. Then is that camel an illusion too?
 

Walk.
 

Should I ignore it, they say illusions in deserts are dangerous.
 

Stop.
 

There is someone on top of the camel. A man? What if they're real?
 

Gulp.
 

I am too tired to think.
 

Walk.
 

I am alive now somehow but I might die tonight if I don't find a shelter! I have no choice but to take risks, "HEY!" I shouted.
The man got down from the camel and walked towards me. 
 

He was real! 
 

Alhamdullillah!
 

"Hey! Are you a merchant?" he asked.
 

Merchant? Do I look like one? I tried to sound as convincing as possible, "Yes! I got stranded from my troops and---"
 

"Say no more, first drink this!" He was eyeing me top to bottom making me uncomfortable.
 

Was that… WATER! After 3 days without food or drink?
 

Sob.
 

"...thank… you…!" Words got stuck in my throat. Why am I mumbling?
 

"No..." he looked flustered, "I mean enjoy…"
 

Sob Sob
 

"Do you--- I mean you can come to our caravan with me if you want---," he looked hesitant.
 

SUCH A PURE SOUL! I took his hand and shook it so violently that he had to fix his clothes after that.
 

"No worries I am Ghalib and you are---"
 

Ayaz, is what I want to say but, "Jafar."