Chapter 1
There are days you feel like you're not yourself anymore, days you find more questions than answers, days you keep wondering your life's centre.
It is normal. That's what makes you a human.
Being raised into a family that standards matters more than feelings and rules matters more than dreams. I, Fatima, was just like every other girl, nurturing my dreams into passion, yet family expectations were threatening to crash it all down…
“Fatima!”
“Fatima!, kiyi sauri mana, kin bar bawan Allah shi kadai.(Fatima! Hurry up, you left the man alone” Mama's voice rang from the kitchen, her tone slightly annoyed.
Sighing I picked up my phone from atop my bed, reciting few dua’s, I came out of my room and made my way out to baba’s guest living room with one mission in mind.
‘Send this suitors away. Like I always did with the others’
I don't get the point of why a girl shouldn't enter University until she's married. I'm just Seventeen for God's sake!!
And the fact that I have to get married before I join the university vexed me to the core. Who told them I'm ready for marriage now. Who told them I'm ready for any marriage responsibility now. I'm definitely not ready.
For the past three months since I’ve written WAEC, I have rejected approximately Five suitors. Just tell me why I had to sacrifice my dream for someone else?
The funniest past of it all was that, all the four men were talking about how ‘I would be a housewife to them’, can you imagine?
No that will never be me!
I have my dreams, and that includes earning my own living.
Well. The last guy was like ‘My wife wouldn't go to the university. The Secondary school she did will be enough for her and our children’.
What! He's kidding me right? There's no way I'm staying at home with just my secondary school certificate. No way!
I gave them all red cards.
I can't believe there are men like that still, in this generation. I thought that ideology was left since in the 20th century?
What I came to understand was that, there's nothing impossible when you put your trust in Allah. It's either it's not Good for you, or it was reserved for you for the hereafter.
And recently, I have kept on praying and asking The Most Mighty to pair me with someone more understanding, who could give my dreams a push, and who could hold my hand when I'm falling.
I believe in Allah, in His rewards and forgiveness. And in His Guide.
He is Allah, the All Knowing.
When I entered into Baba’s guest living room with a salam, my eyes froze as I took in the person inside it, seated majestically on the couch in his Kaftan, his eyes lowered down, focused on his phone.
Wait…why do I felt like he's different from the other men.
Don't mind me.
What was him name again?… Ya Subhanallah! I forgot again!!
“Wa alaikum Assalamu.” His eyes looked up slowly to mine, his voice ringing in the room.
I gave him a small smile as I came in, then sat on the couch opposite his.
After exchanging pleasantries, he leaned forward, hands entwined on his lap, before his voice came again.
“My intentions are pure, Wallahi.” My heart dropped at the sincerity in his voice. The look in his eyes says it all.
“At first I didn't know how to come up and express my feelings to you. “I briefly looked away, my mind trying to process his words. So, he wasn't sent by his family, like the two other guys that came before?
Good.
“But I have love you since the first day I laid my eyes on you…”His eyes met mine across the room at that moment.
What? Could he be kidding me?
“...It was during a literary competition that I fist saw you,I went there as a special guest, and also my cousin was part of the debate. “ Of curse I remembered the time. That was when I was chosen to participate in a poem competition, thankfully I won.
He continued, “I really love your personality, your talent, your perspective, your dream, and the way you express every word you uttered.
At first I wanted to reach out, to atless express my words. But I felt then that, it was too early, you were just in SS3 and maybe I will be a burden.
But when I heard about my sister and cousin discussing about one of the guys that came to ask for your hand in marriage, I was heartbroken.” He smiled warmly at me,and as possible as I don't want to belive my heart dip flutter at that.
I kept quite, yet he continued.
“That gave me the push, the push to come and claim you. To help you build the future you had envision for yourself. To be a guidance, a supporter, a partner, and someone you could rely on.”
“Ya Allah.” Those words left my lips in a quiet whisper, filling me up with the most gracious gifts ever. I didn't know if he heard it or he chose to not say anything about it, but he continued with his speech, anyway.
Speech? Did I say speech? Honestly it's more like a speech than a conversation.
“By Allah, I'd be glad to build a future with you, to have you as a permanent partner, and to have you as a companion who I could build my hereafter with.” Did this man, whom look to be in his middle twenties be kidding me.
All this words. The emotions. The pure sincerity in every words. And all… Ya Allah, it's making me feel like I'm day-dreaming.
With a gentle smile, he dropped on his knees, his hand on the centre table beside him.
Ya Rahman.
He then pointed to himself, while uttering, “Here I am, Anas Muhammad Malik, asking for your love, your heart and your world.” I palm my mouth, utterly speechless.
“I'm I approved?.” He asked, his eyes looking straight in mine, waiting, searching, pleading, for my response.
It was in that moment that everything came back to me. That whatever you put your trust in Allah, he never disappoints.
Nothing is impossible when Allah is mentioned.
That reminded me of the story of Prophet Zakariyya RA. He was old and his wife was barren, yet he ask Allah to grant him a child. And Allah did gave him Yahya RA from an old Father and a barren mother.
Allah is the Greatest, Highest, and Mightiest.